top notch

Recently I have experienced some unexpected happenings. From an unexpected letter to even more unexpected events, life certainly hasn't been boring. First of all, getting a letter in the mail informing you that you have been awarded eighty thousand dollars, is a GOOD FEELING. One of the colleges I am considering offered me a merit scholarship of 20000 dollars a year. That covers about half their tuition, but man I was shocked to be offered that much money without having to enter a scholarship contest or anything. Whew! I feel like I was over-stressing about this whole college thing.  *knock on wood* It seems like what I really should be focusing on is what exactly I want to do. Hopefully the upcoming rotations in health careers will help shed some light on that. The weeks ahead are full of excitement, and this year has taken an unexpected turn into a stream of exciting surprises. :)

supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus

   So, I don't exactly have a subject to expand on. I am very grateful that this weekend is four days long. It is exciting to hear that this winter is supposed to be super snowy. I have spent an incredible amount of time cuddling with my dogs lately. The fact that all this cold weather and rain is a perfect excuse to wear layers, and hats, and sweaters, and hide under blankets is welcome news. I am pretty much done applying to college. The fact that now all I have left to do is wait for complete strangers to decide if they want me is a relief. At least there isn't anything else I need to do now ;). The magic of getting paid still hasn't ceased to amaze me. My only real fear at the moment is being trampled and/or torn to shreds when I work on black friday. Ski season is starting soon! Now i think I need to stop all this discombobulation. 

holy cow

I want to be freeeeeee! Can next year hurry up already? I think a little healthy separation from home may do me good. *whining*

exhale.

    This year is worlds away from last. Last year I was living the stereotypical high school experience. You know, the typical teenage girl in the background on a sitcom. Steady boyfriend, close group of friends, grade school buddies, and band buddies. The only trouble was, I placed myself in the mindset of those directly around me. Running through my head were thoughts of the futurefuturefuturefuturefuture. Constant chatter of what was coming in the next year surrounded me. But I never stopped to pause, wait. This isn't me. I'm really not a senior. All the people in my classes are taking off this year, but not me. Mentally I was completely convinced that I belonged in the class of 2010. Why shouldn't I? I took Lit/Comp 10 when they did, took AP Lang when they did, took AP Lit when they did,the logical conclusion anyone would make when looking at my classes,is I fit right in. If they had a doubt in their mind, they could investigate who I devoted my time to, and their conclusion would be confirmed. June rolled around, and my classes emptied. I remember sitting in a classroom with four other students, and thinking, what I would give to be an empty seat. Already enjoying summer, and ecstatic about the imminent future. Then I went to graduation, as an audience member. There they all were, throwing their caps to the sky, rejoicing at the beginning of a new chapter. 
      My new chapter hasn't begun yet. It feels sort of like the author of my narrative is penning a Russian novel. The same story could be said in such few words. Yet Russian novels are considered masterpieces for some reason or another. While personally I can't appreciate them, maybe my chapter isn't over yet for a reason. Soon enough, my page will turn, and I too will start anew. But in the meantime, the final paragraphs have started. Most of the time I feel like I'm still sitting in a classroom of empty seats. Four or Five of my closest friends remain, but school has turned into a sea of blank faces. Of all the Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and many Seniors, I would only be able to guess a small amount of their first names. 
     I recently finished a book about racing in the rain :), and in the words of wisdom of a very special character, "The car goes where the eyes go". In other words, you manifest your own destiny. If I continue to focus on this sadness, it will open doors to more sorrow. But if I lift my chin up, and decide that now it's my turn to fill my thoughts of my own future, my future will come knocking. I am very blessed to have parents that have allowed me to choose my own path in life. My dad's mantra for my college quest is, "Don't let money or anything else decide where you end up. Go where you want, and do something you love to do." I appreciate such wonderful support, and such nice priorities in life. Here I am fussing about where to go, what to do, gpa, sat,where everyone else is applying to, blah blah blah, when in reality it all boils down to is finding purpose in life. This blog post has turned into a long mental burst of thoughts that don't really connect, but who cares. I suppose finding purpose in life needs to begin in finding purpose in the now. Not constantly asking, why is my life so different now? Or, why did it have to turn out this way? Instead it is time to find purpose! I have a job, where I meet a new person every shift. I am saving money for college, and learning the ropes of handling many different types of personalities. My actions today send ripples into tomorrow. As corny as that sounds, I am learning new people skills, and I can expect a pretty sizable paycheck in the near future. Also, health careers is as filled with purpose as school can get. I am so passionate about being able to dip my toes into a possible future for me, thanks to health careers.
     This has turned into nothing short of an extremely long exhale. Though this year is worlds away from last, I am that much closer to my new chapter. Though the future is tantalizing, in the words of all politicians, the future is now, and it's time i start realizing it.

Times they are a changin'

What a dramatic week! From returning to civilization, to college goodbyes, to joining the workforce, to getting a car, the past seven days haven't failed to bring reasons to celebrate, and to cry. I wish all my girls, and some guys, well on their new and exciting adventures. Wish I could be there to coast along for the ride, but for now Skype dates should keep the separation bearable. :)


I am really excited to announce that I not only am a new employee, but I have a motorized vehicle to get to work! Wooohoo! Who knows what more good news lies around the corner. :) I really don't know what to expect, other than I am being launched headfirst into the world of retail. Hopefully I won't have to be fished out any time soon. On another note, I will have to be fished out of my school schedule. Multiple friends have wisely suggested I hit up Hermione for her time bending apparatus, but until I figure out how to step out of muggle world, I'm going to have to straighten this all out. It seems I have early release in the middle of the day, which really seems the best of my poor little schedule's problems. Once my classes seem to stop defying chronological order, my next task is to overcome my fear of AP CALCULUS. You see, just the thought of it leaves me trembling in my boots. :( I keep telling myself that June 4th really isn't that far away. Cannot wait to speed through this year and join the ranks of the high school graduates. No hard feelings Westview, it's just that while I stood in line for registration for 30 plus minutes, I couldn't help but notice how many vapid girls I was surrounded by. Not to sound too high and mighty, but I really didn't want to hear that you kissed each other at the party last night, or that you died your hair platinum blonde while in Sweden. Those were actual conversations btw. 


Now that I've gotten all that teen angst out of my system, I am looking forward to the week ahead. Vampire Weekend anyone? :D This time I'll be seeing them with much better company if you catch my drift. Time to stop associating the poor guys with a bittersweet memory. Picturing my mother rocking out to Horchata brings a smile to my face already. 

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." -Andy Warhol

Bend in the Road

So, this blog business has made me quite befuddled. Putting thoughts into words that may be read by others is a bit daunting. I have decided to assume my few closest friends will be the only possible readers, so that puts me at ease a bit. Ignorance really is bliss. Anyways, this summer has not been what i expected at all. I have learned a lot, and hopefully (fingers crossed) have grown a bit. Starting from day one, the turbulence has been a bit more than what I envisioned whilst daydreaming through AP Statistics, happily ignoring the little elf teacher. But then again, maybe that's what I needed. What better thing to do over summer vacation than learn to pick yourself up, and keep enjoying life even after someone you care for becomes careless? No sarcasm intended. Though possible, it is hard to stay weepy forever when the sun is shining and the birds are singing. So, Master of the Universe, whomever you may be, thank you for the exquisite seasonal timing. On the other hand, not having a job and having months of freedom does leave some time for deep thinking. Lately, I've come to this conclusion: Falling in Love is a lot like falling asleep. You really can't remember the exact moment it happens. We all know someone who claims they know, but I am pretty sure they are fibbing.During the fall, your mind is racing with thoughts and ideas/obsessions yet at the same time, disturbingly blank if you try to recall specifics. After the fall, no one can bring you back to reality without violently shaking you, dousing you with cold water, shouting at you, etc. Some people are out like a rock, while others are still slightly in touch with the world, waking up for a car alarm, or a friend in need. Directly after waking up, you are in quite a daze. You don't know where you are, what has happened, and more specifically, what the hell is going on? I for one am not a morning person. As the great Andy Warhol put it, "People should fall in love with their eyes closed". At least then moobs wouldn't be so bad. ;)